Storks and Reasons
by Striped-Tie
Summary: The only problem with going to family reunions is that people remember the one fact : Jill Valentine doesn't like, or want, children. A oneshot time waster XD T for something pretty clearly implied.


A/N;

Just something random I started when I had writers block for chapter 15 and 16 of Je M'en Fous xD; Just a bit of fun, really. Both my friends and I have never been able to imagine Jill as a mother X3

All the statements and stuff are from Breeder Bingo again. I can't link images, s just look it up on Photobucket and you'll find it.

T simply for hinted things XD?

Resident Evil isn't mine, and I'm bet a lot of people are happy about that!

* * *

Jill looked around the room quickly. As much as she hated to admit it, she could only just recognize barely a quarter of these people. Her mother had about three sisters and two brothers, while her father had five brothers and four sisters. A large family, that when age was met, just seemed to multiply. She only remembered ever playing with a few of her cousins as a child, as well as her own siblings, but as she grew older… Ties broke and lives were lived out.

With her job, Jill rarely even saw her mother, let alone the extended family. It was something she regretted, but life wouldn't be life if you didn't have at least one regret. And yet here she was now, at a family gathering. In a big, city hall. She herself had put money in to help rent it out – She couldn't imagine how much the total billing would have cost.

Jill had just been lucky enough to have the dark blue dress she was currently wearing hidden away in the wardrobe at the house, in one of the wardrobes she never looked in the back of. It had no straps and dipped at the back, but it covered enough of her chest for there to be no cleavage shown. Plus, it swept down to her ankles. Even though she wasn't very content with wearing black high heels, they at least seemed nice going along with her dress and the white silk gloves that reached her elbows. It was simple, and she liked it that way.

She had just headed over to refreshments and gotten a cup of the punch there when she heard some footsteps behind her. Turning around, she spotted the ever chirpy face of her younger cousin, Juliet. She hadn't seen her in about three years.

"Well lookie lookie who it is!" Juliet smiled playfully, "The ever elusive Jill! It's been too long. How have you been?" Jill leaned back against the table, steadying herself with one hand and holding her drink with the other.

"I've been alright… Busy, lately, but alright." She answered, offering a small smile, "What about you?" She could remember spending a lot of time with Juliet some years ago, but not recently… But as said, it had been a good three years since their last meet.

"To be honest? Hectic! My boy's been running me off my feet!" Juliet chuckled.

Jill shivered, and it dawned on her. Maybe that was why she had stopped being so enthusiastic to find time to visit. Actually, it was the most likely reason. Children, Jill didn't like them very much – especially when they were only old enough to cry and yell. It was like once a woman had a kid all they could talk about was that little hell spawn, and all other topics flew out the window or somehow managed to get back to the new runt.

"Isn't your husband here?" Juliet asked curiously, moving a strand of hair from her eyes. Jill shook her head.

"No, he had to stay at work tonight; he's not home until late… He's only coming to pick me up later on." She explained.

"Oh really? Damn." Juliet sighed, shaking her head. "I really wanted to meet this… This…" She bit her tongue. For the life of her, she couldn't remember his name – It was embarrassing.

"Chris." Jill smiled, and answered simply. Juliet nodded, and looked over her shoulder.

"Michael's over there with Joshua now. It's nice to get a break." Juliet said, feeling the need to refer to her own husband.

Jill shivered once again. Joshua would be four now. The longer she could avoid him, the better, as horrible as it must have sounded. Even family, if they were children, she wanted to avoid them like the plague.

Juliet didn't appear to notice Jill's unease on the subject. Just as Jill had assumed, after having a child, Juliet's mind seemed to always wonder back to the subject…

"You got married, what… Last Autumn?" Juliet asked. Jill gave a slight nod and took a sip of the punch – She knew exactly where this was going, and already wished her cousin would keep her nose out of hers and Chris' business. "Don't you think you two are due to start trying for a baby?"

Jill shivered. She was doing this often.

"No." She said simply, drinking down the rest of her drink. She had never wished so much for her drink to be spiked.

"But why not? Don't you like kids?" Juliet pried. Something told Jill to bite her tongue – How did her family not know of her opinionated nature?

"H--- No, I don't like them much." She stated simply.

"What reason could you possibly have to hate children?" Juliet gasped, putting a hand over her mouth. Oh, how dramatic she acted.

"Quite a good number of reasons, but let's not go on about it." Jill said, looking away. She could have gone on for hours.

"You know, it's different when they're your own." Juliet said, not seeming satisfied.

"Yeah, then you don't have to worry about strangling a random child on the train because you know it's your own." Jill grunted, tapping her fingers on the table. Juliet just shook her head, and walked off. Sadly for Jill, this was far from the end of the conversation. The knowledge of her hatred for children was rekindled, and within half an hour she was getting ever attempted persuasion in the book thrown at her.

Her Aunt Samantha was next in line. There was a simple greeting between the two, before she got straight to the point.

"You know, you forget the pain of labour." Aunt Samantha stated knowingly. Jill rolled her eyes, not impressed.

"And did you know, that although I could forget, I could also just go along and never experience said pain at all." Jill stated, wiftly leavingthat part of the hall before the conversation could continue.

However, the next one to take up the cause was some female relation she couldn't even remember the family tree behind. She simple remembered the name Belinda.

"You were a baby once too, you know!" Belinda reminded her when she had tracked down poor Jill.

"Yeah," Jill scoffed, "I don't know why my mother didn't strangle me, especially since I was the little hell raiser of the brood." Belinda shook her head, admitting defeat.

As the night continued to drag on, Jill was reminded of her relatives names, in a far too quick manner. Not even ten minutes after the last confrontation, her second-cousin (probably twice removed, knowing her luck), May, stepped up to the challenge. She didn't bother with a formal greeting, and by now Jill didn't expect one.

"It's the most important job in the world." May stated simply, her hands behind her back.

"Then why do all little boys want to grow up to be firemen, and not mummies?" Jill quizzed. There was irritation in her tone. She was especially proud of her job, so it was a low blow. Before May could say anything else, Jill stormed off. Didn't her family have anything else better to do with their time?

Many more conversion attempts followed throughout the evening until Jill's older sister Kayla cornered her. Jill looked at her sister with a near pleading look. She was so tired of this.

"Kayla, please. Now isn't the time. I've pretty much had the whole female population of my family corner me today and basically tell me my life is a lie until I decide to put my womb to supposed good use." Jill sighed, hoping for a break,

"Well, it's because you're being so narrow minded," Kayla shrugged, crossing her arms. She knew better than her little sister on the subject, after all. "The only reason you get married is to have children, you know."

"_Excuse Me?_" Jill hissed. She slammed her fist on the table, a none too pleased look in her eyes. She had taken personal offense to that one. Just as she opened her mouth to spit something back, she managed to calm down. She took a few deep breaths, and walked away. These reasons were getting more irritating and the last thing she needed was a restraining order from her own family to avoid any physical harm to her extended family tree.

She left the large hall, taking a seat on the steps outside. It had all lasted quite a while… In half an hour, Chris would come, and she would be able to head home. She didn't want to call and bother him, despite how much she wanted to blow off steam.

However, as that time rolled around, the last thing she shouted into the hall while flipping most of them off happened to be the statement 'Fuck you, I'm getting my tubes tied'. What style and grace that woman had.

* * *

The ride home had been a quiet one after Jill had grunted a '_fine_' in answer to Chris' question 'How was your night?'. It was awkward, but Chris had learned not to pry when Jill was in one of those moods – She would usually rant in her own time.

And that she did. As soon as they were through the door of their house, Jill had slumped onto the couch in the lounge room. She looked expectantly at Chris. He gave a shrug as he spotted her look upon his arrival in the room, telling her to go on.

"I basically spent the entire night having to say my comebacks to the whole list of damn 'why don't you have children' and 'you should really have them' statements." She growled, digging her nails into the leather of the couch. Displeased was nowhere near the word to describe the woman at the moment. She stood up quickly, crossing her arms and beginning to pace. "I just don't get it!"

Chris stayed quiet, walking over to the couch and leaning on the back of it, watching her pace. He remembered someone saying once that tigers paced back and forth, in the exact same steps when they were anxious or stressed. He watched her move, gracefully despite her frustration, her own stress and anxiety. He watched, and listened, reminded of his wife's beauty.

"You should have heard half the things they were saying!" She said angrily, shaking her head, "'What about the family tree?' one of them asks!"

Chris bit his tongue. Whoever had told her that _did_ have a point… If Claire were to ever marry, they would be the last ones with the 'Redfield' last name. He was smart enough not to mention this, and instead, just nodded.

He could tell this could easily drag on for a few hours – A lot must have worked her up. He walked away from the couch and moved behind her as she came to a halt, putting his hands on her shoulders. She seemed less tense on contact, as he went on to massage her shoulders and a tad bit of the back of her neck.

"C'mon. I'll give you some fun for you to forget about it." He said slyly after a few minutes. Jill smiled, with just as much slyness as what had been in Chris' voice. She didn't need to be told twice as Chris ceased what he had been doing, quickly whisking Jill off of her feet. She liked Chris' version of fun, very much so.

* * *

Some time later, perhaps one or two months, Jill and Chris were both blessed to have a day off from work. Given, they were still on call in case something important happened, but they had a rare laze around day. Jill herself had spent most of it taking quick naps in between doing things to pass the time, like bothering Chris. With love, of course. He was just watching TV, after all. On that note, it seemed like it was time to bother him once more.

The TV could still be heard as she walked down the hall of the house, into the lounge room. He seemed to sit idly, not really paying much attention. Maybe there was a decent show on TV… But when Jill strutted into view, he was quick to change his point of attention. He offered a warm smile, and patted the space next to him – Inviting her to sit with him, simply.

She smirked, ignoring the vacant spot next to Chris and rather, sat down on his lap, making sure to put pressure in certain areas to tease. Chris slipped his arms under hers and wrapped them around her waist, able to look over her shoulder to see the TV despite the height she had gained from his knees.

"… Are you going to just ignore me?" She quizzed, leaning back on him. Her eyes looked at the TV – It was just ads, nothing important. It was funny how easily he could be entertained at times. But, she loved him – even for little things like that.

"I'm not ignoring you, I see you there, thank you." He stated, giving her a quick kiss on the neck. Jill still had the smirk on her face – However, it was quickly wiped away when her little tease was turned against her.

"… What are you doing?" She asked, feeling Chris unfold his arms from around her, and flattening out his hands, moving them to rest against the lower part of her stomach.

"Mhm," He hummed simply, "Thinking."

"I mean with your hands." She said quickly, trying to look over her shoulder at him. They weren't wondering any lower – What was his game?

"Mhm." He smirked, able to sense her awkwardness, and slight distress. "Feeling."

"For _what?_." She asked, but regretted it as soon as the words left her mouth.

"A bump." He said, chuckling as he did. Jill quickly turned her body to look at him properly, which seemed difficult to do so.

"Stop it." She growled angrily.

"Naww… Why so angry, Sweety?" Chris laughed, rubbing his hands over the area, "I think it'll take another month or two…"

"For Christ's sake, I'm not pregnant!" She snapped – acting much like a child who was denying being in trouble. Chris quickly crossed his arms around her again as she tried to stand up. She struggled, squirming, trying to weasel her way out of his grip, but apparently Chris hadn't had enough fun poking her about the subject.

"Really? Then how come you're getting so mood swing-y?" He teased, keeping her against him.

"Because you're pissing me off!" She spat. He gave her another kiss on the neck, but it only caused her to squirm more. She wasn't happy about this situation, or the topic of their conversation.

"But didn't the kit come back positive?" He asked.

"Those things mess up all the time, dammit Chris!" She said, sounding like she was about to sulk at any time. Her mood swings amused him – But Jill seemed very sure about the subject. Hell, she was probably right. She knew her body the most, right?

"Then why don't you go get a blood test to be sure?" He asked. This time he was the one still smirking, "I'll pay for the test."

"I don't need a test!" She stated loudly. She cursed his strong grip, even if it did seem to come in handy at times.

"You know… I always like the name Delilah for a girl."

"Fucking hell, Chris!"

"Don't like Delilah? What about Annabelle? I don't think a short name would be good for our little girl."

"**CHRIS!**"

"Evans for a boy… Always liked that one, too. That and Loki." As soon as he stated that, all he received as a reply was a very angry, dragged out grunt. Maybe Jill had screamed in frustration, but had kept her mouth closed. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, Chris finally let go of his hold on Jill.

Jill quickly sprung off of Chris' lap, grabbing her bag off of the table, where she had left it earlier that morning. She turned and gave Chris a sharp glare, before walking out of the room. Chris could hear the front door slam shut loudly. Yes, she was going to go prove him wrong.

He stretched out on the couch with a grin on his face – Developing fatherly instincts told him that he was right, and Jill was very, very wrong.

Evans, yes. He liked that name for his little boy. Evans Redfield.

* * *

A/N;

Children in the dark cause accidents… But accidents in the dark cause children XD! *Snorts*


End file.
